Reflections on January 6, 2021

 January 6, 2021

The day our nation's capitol was attacked by our own citizens. 

Today was hard.  I turned on the TV  this morning to watch what should should have been, would normally have been, the 30 minute process of confirming the electoral votes for President-elect Biden. Instead I was greeted with the terrifying view of our own citizens attacking our capital building and forcing our elected officials (including our VP) into lockdown.

What the actual hell??  How does this happen in our country?  How is this reality?  

I am heartbroken. Sick. Disillusioned.  Furious.  Pissed. The list goes on. 

So many emotions that I don't even know how to sort through them.  

First, as someone who has been in a lockdown situation before, I am so sad for all these people who were forced into that position today by other people's careless/selfish actions. I have mad respect for all of them for deciding to stay on tonight and committing to confirming the electoral votes as planned.  I am sure, from experience, that some of them are probably still in denial or "flight or fight" mode and haven't really started the process of dealing with the trauma of going into a sudden lockdown. It takes a LONG time to heal. I can tell you from a point of 5 years, 3 months, and 5 days out....it takes longer than that. 

Second, extreme shock that even though all this has happened there are still 105 Republicans who have agreed to the objection (as of 7:53 p.m. PT).  How is anyone still supporting this insanity?? You were sent into lockdown by misguided people who have been swayed by the unfounded allegations of our current President.  I don't even understand.   

As a person, I try so hard to view people as individuals and not lump anyone into groups of "them" or "others." I try very hard to see both sides of a situation and seek to understand rather than condemn.  But I am struggling here.

Our nation's capitol was attacked.  Our elected officials were forced into lockdown. Our fellow Americans perpetuated the attack. This was not an outside force trying to attack our way of life. This was internal. Us attacking Us. Incited to violence (which is a crime) by our own President.  How is this the reality that we have found ourselves in?  How did we get here? 

All because one man doesn't want to admit that he lost.  GROW UP!  Losing is a part of a life.  Recognize and appreciate the opportunity you were given and move on.  Your time at the White House is over. Look to the next adventure. 

I don't know how to accept or process this.  I do know that I have always been a middle of the road person in terms of politics.  I have tried to respect and accept the views of Republicans, Democrats, Independents, etc.  I have tried not to judge groups based on their political, religious, or moral beliefs. Instead I have tried to look for points that we could agree on and respect the freedom to have their own beliefs.  After today, I am not sure I can do that anymore. 

Today I am just pissed.

This is not okay.  This is not the America I know and love.