Family History

My mom was recently accepted into the Steel Magnolias organization, which is a genealogy group based on women who supported a Confederate Soldier by picking up all the slack and running the households while their male counterparts were off fighting in the war. We are from Texas, so the majority of our family fought with the Confederacy. It's just the way it was. 

So, my mom's great-great-grandmother was Sara Jane Moore Rogers Bennett (that's a lot of names).  She was married to Richmond Oliver Bennett who fought in the war. There are a lot of cool stories about Richmod and his time in the service. I will try to remember to record those later, but this story is about Sara. 

Isn't it wild that my mom's great-great grandparents were alive during the way? I mean, my kids have great-great grandparents. It just doesn't seem far enough back. That's only four generations back from me.  Wild.  Wait, four? Is that right?  Yes, if they were mom's great-great, they would be my great-great-great.  Insane! 

Sara lived to be 100 years old! My grandmother remembers her because she lived with her grandparent

..... Not sure where I was going with this post. But I am going to go ahead and publish it as a reminder to revisit it one day.

Welcome back old friend.....

Morning pages. This is a thing I am doing right now. I have been listening to The Artist's Way, and one of the tasks — the one I have embraced —is the idea of morning pages. Every day, you start your day with three pages of free writing. They recommend handwritten over typing. I started out with that for a week, but found myself thinking about this blog and wanting to revise it. I like the typing feel. The typewriter effect. So, since it is my Artist Way, I'm switching gears. 

 Over the years, blogging has been a wonderful creative outlet for me. I still mourn my original blog--the one that carried me through the pre- and post-divorce years. I lost it when I deleted the email address in my former name. I occasionally think of it and wish I could find a way to get it back. Since then, this new blog has taken on multiple forms: a travel blog, a hiking log, book reviews, personal stories from my early years, and stories shared by my grandfather. He is 99 now and still sharing stories! I haven't been consisten,t though, and I may not be consistent now. But it is time to revive it. It's been a minute.

So, let's dive into the morning pages. What's on my mind today? Thinking about my travel trailer and what to do with it. I want to set a permanent home for it. But the question is, where would that location be? If I set up something here on the property in Texas, it can serve as a guest room when (and if) my kids or grands ever decide to visit with me. Of course, I also like the idea of hauling it to Oregon and finding a permanent rental space on the coast or on a lake somewhere. That sounds really amazing-- and something I would get a lot more use out of! Something within an hour or two of my house--a place to run to for the weekend. The issue is getting it there. I need a truck for the haul, but don't want to buy a truck for reals. That means a rental. Problem solved! That was easy! The application will be the issue. Next thing on my mind--an Artist Date. That is another task in the book.

A weekly solo date to explore something creative. What does that mean for me today--my date day? I am having lunch with my cousins at 1:00, and then I will visit some Goodwills to take photos of the Lufkin murals. I always wanted to do that when I lived here full-time, but I never did. Today is the day. I have been painting pages in my art journal, getting it ready for other displays. I enjoy the process, and it is something I have been missing in Oregon. I don't have a designated space to keep my art supplies, so I can pop in quickly to paint a page or create a collage. 

 Here in Texas, I have the paint out on my table and can sit down quickly and complete a couple of pages between other events. I need to figure out a way to have this same environment in my Oregon space. I don't have much space, but I can figure out something. 

What is the equivalent of three handwritten pages in terms of typing? Have I met my goal today? This was a sporadic set of morning pages-- all over the place! I will get better with practice. I need to ease my way back into the routine. For now, let's head off for a day of exploring! 

 Thank you, my dear imaginary friend, for listening!

Apples, Oats, Fish, Beans and Avocados...

 ...that's it.  Those are the things I need to eat EVERY Day! Why?  Well about a week ago I found out my cholesterol is at 239.   Anything over 200 is considered high and some sources say 150 is best.  And  I am 239. Not cool. Now this is not a total shock. I have known that cholesterol was a struggle for me for about three years.  I made some changes back then and managed to get it under control. 

Unfortunately, over the last year, I let go of some of those habits...actually, to be honest, I let go of ALL my good habits.  I mean, I just dropped the ball big time.  Of course, here I am again. 

What's the plan? I did a bunch of research and came up with some key foods to avoid and others to eat.  So, what I am eating.....apples, oats, fish, beans and avocados. On the daily.  I am also incorporating chia/flax, soy, greens, nuts/seeds, and berries. 

What I am learning, is that when you can only five basic foods a day--- you have to get creative.  Every morning I consider my options and come up with something new.

Oats have been a big one because, while I enjoy oatmeal, I just don't want it every day.  Thank goodness for Google and online recipes! I made an oil & sugar-free granola and have been finding ways to incorporate it throughout the day.   My favorite dessert right now is soy yogurt with chopped-up apples, and oat granola, topped with a little chia/flax, cinnamon, and nutmeg.  De-Lish!  

Today I really wanted pancakes-- but that's not part of the heart-healthy plan. BUT  I got to thinking--could I make it with oatmeal? And, it turns out, YEAH absolutely.  1/2 c oatmeal soaked in 1/2 c soy milk until it gets soft. I mixed it in with a little basic pancake stuff and apples (of course).  Topped it with the date/walnut peanut butter I got in Jefferson yesterday and a splash of honey.  Double-De-Lish!  

Fish has been tough for me. Before this, I didn't think I liked tuna or salmon.  Turns out it is okay.  I bought a bunch of the pouches and have been using them to make stuff.  Stuff like delicious salmon patties, siracha tuna, mango salmon, and more. Each pouch is only around 70 to 90 calories and chock full of all the stuff I need to keep my heart happy.   I also bought some cod and salmon fillets. Air fryer fish---yes, please.  Who knew? Probably everyone but me.  

BEANS, I love them. Beans have not been hard. I made a yummy bean salad and added it to everything. I made some black beans and used them to make up some air fryer taquitos, enchiladas, and quesadillas.  Mexican-ish food--all the way! And hummus. Hummus--yes, please.  I will take all the hummus (within my calorie range of course). 

Avocados have been relatively easy, just add 1/2 avocado to lunch and dinner. It works. 

Apples are the same. Add a little apple to everything and you are there. 

Those are the big 5. Let's see how creative I can get moving forward.

Operation LDC (lower Debi's cholesterol) is back in action! 

Unconscious Bias-- or is it? Whatever it is, it's time to do better

 This weekend I have become acutely aware of the subtle ways society disrespects women and conditions them to be okay with it. It started at a basketball game. But once you start looking, it's tough to un-see it. And suddenly it's everywhere. Of course, it has always been everywhere, you have just been complacent in it--- and that, dear me, is the real problem.  Complacency allows bad things to continue unchecked. 

It has me thinking....

• Why are all the female teams lady this or lady that, Gal something, or the "ness". When you see a bobcat in the wild, do you stop and say... "well, that's not actually a bobcat--it's a lady cat"  or worse a "gal-cat'? What is that all about?  And more importantly....why are we okay with this?  Why do we tolerate it?  The female teams are bobcats, pirates, Vikings, or any other ridiculous mascot you can come up with. What is the point of adding the "lady" or "gal" in front, or the "ness" at the end? This is on the same level as the whole "lady boss" debacle and NO ONE needs that in their life.  Let's put an end to this sexist trend and focus on the awesome-"ness" of all the ATHLETES

• WHY do the boy's games have a halftime but not the girls? Do the girls not get tired after two periods?  Are they not working as hard as the boys? Is their sport not as physically grueling?  I mean, I am not much of a ball player, but I can tell you those girls I was watching yesterday left it ALL on the floor. They were badass and unapologetic about it.  And yet...no break for them. 4 periods, 8 minutes.  Power through. The boys' team on the other hand...2 periods of 8 minutes, a half-time break, followed by two more 8-minute periods.  They got a chance to at least partially rest and recover from all the running, blocking, shooting, and whatever else happens on the floor.  But the girls, nope. Power through. Push on. No break for you. I mean, after all, we have to get you off the floor so the REAL athletes can start.  But really, if you look at it....who's the tougher athlete in this scenario? The ones who got to relax and take a break or the ones who powered through?  We know who the real badasses are. 
  
  
• Still with the game....why do only boys' teams get cheerleaders?  I mean the boys' team was not playing while the girls were playing.  Couldn't they be required to come out and cheer for the girls? Support their teammates?  I am not saying they need to wear a cheerleader costume and shake their pom-poms--because really that is a whole other issue in itself. But, they could certainly sit in the stands, in their practice jerseys, and cheer on the team.  To be fair, there were a few members of both male teams standing outside the dressing room--- laughing and joking around with their friends. Paying very little attention or respect to their teammates.   But you know what, as soon as the girls' game was done, they were dressed--some in regular clothes and others in cheerleading costumes-- and posted up courtside to cheer on the boys' team.  Is there a reason ALL students are not taught or expected to support their teammates? Is that expectation--- or maybe just that generosity-- unique to females?

• And lest you think all of my examples came from a high school basketball game, let me tell you about a meeting I went to recently. Two speakers were there. One was invited as the primary speaker and was asked to speak for about 20 minutes.  This speaker has a doctorate in education and is a member of the state education agency. The second speaker was invited as a secondary speaker and was asked to speak for about 10 minutes. This speaker holds a prominent position in a local rural school district and does not have a doctorate degree.  The primary speaker-- who holds a state position and a higher degree-- spoke for 10 minutes (or less) and constantly referred to the second speaker as if they were the expert.  Then when the secondary speaker's time came, they spoke for 20-plus minutes and referred to the first speaker without using their hard-earned title of DR (this is a major pet peeve of mine. I am not saying use the title in everyday interactions. But in professional settings? Abso-freaking -lutely. Honor the degree). IMHO they even slid in a few jabs at the primary speaker's approach (but I might be sensitive to it).  Okay, if you have been following me throughout this chat, you can probably figure out which speaker was female and which one was male. 
  
  
• Now please note, I am not saying either of these speakers did any of these actions intentionally. I am sure that the first speaker (who, as you now know, was female) was being polite and respectful by trying to share the time with and acknowledge the second speaker. I am also sure that the second speaker (male) never intentionally tried to take more time than he was allotted, position himself as the authoritative one, or disrespect speaker number one. And THAT'S my point. It's so ingrained that it becomes our unconscious way of being.  It's just the way things are.  I do wonder though, do you think the primary speaker learned what was expected during her early school years--perhaps on a "lady" sports team. Was she conditioned to defer? 
  
  
• I am also aware that not ALL school districts disrespect their female athletes so blatantly-- but it does seem to be the rule more than the exception. And I am also sure it is not limited to sports. 

So, what's the big deal, right? Why am I bothered by this? Boys' sports take priority. It doesn't mean the girls aren't important, it's just the way things are.  The girls don't mind.  They don't mind being called ladies and gals. They don't mind that smaller crowds attend their games (although that could be due to the earlier start time -- which is another subtle slight).  It's just the way sports work.  

Here is why it's an issue.  This process is teaching these girls to accept less. To ask for less. To be smaller even.  We are conditioning our young women to accept their place in this "man's world." Play hard, leave it all on the floor.  Then when your game is over, come out and cheer on the real team.  

Boys, who become men, are taught to take up space.  To be loud.  To be direct. To be an authority. To be in charge. To demand respect.   Even their deeper voices seem to command an audience to listen.  Is that their fault? Should they take up less space? Ask for less respect?  No, of course not.  But --- could we perhaps teach our girls--who become women-- the same things? Could we treat them the same way?  Could we encourage them to demand respect? To take up space. To be loud. To be direct. To be in charge. To never back down. Never defer.  To never accept less than they want, deserve, or earn.  To be THEMSELVES.  

I hope my granddaughters never experience this. I want them to go to a school where their teams are not labeled with feminine add-ons to differentiate them from the "real" players and where parents, community members, school leaders, and classmates support ALL teams equally. Regardless of gender.   I want my granddaughters to grow up to become strong, confident, independent, respected women--- and to NEVER be belittled or labeled because of it. Is that too much to ask for? 

Maya Angelou once said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better,  do better." 

It's 2024.  I think as a society, we know better.  Now it's time to step up and DO BETTER. 

2024-- The year of "No Shoulding on Myself"

 January 1, 2024.

Feels so crazy to type that. 2024! What?  How are we here? Since the pandemic in 2020, it feels like our country has been stuck. Stagnant?  In a Groundhog's Day kind of loop.  

But, me-- I have done all kinds of things since then. Lost family members, moved across the country, changed jobs, and tried to find a way to balance my fantasy self and my real self.   So, what does 2024 hold for me?  That's the question we are all asking ourselves right now, isn't it? What are my goals for this year? What are our resolutions?

Mine is simple-- stop "should-ing" on myself and listen to what I want or need in the moment. Live simpler. Live for me.  Let go of expectations. So while others are doing "no spend" years, "Dry January," and setting aggressive goals to lose weight, hike more, learn a new language, fall in love, and change their lives ( all of which I have tried in the past), I am going to focus on a "No Shoulds" year.  

That is my goal.  Stop forcing myself to do...or feeling guilty when I don't do...things that others or my fantasy self expect me to do.  Just listen to my real self at the moment and figure out what nurtures me at that time. 

Today is January 1.  My head says I "SHOULD" be out on a First Day Hike, communing with nature, and the hundreds of other people trying to get into the state parks.  My homebody heart says, stay home, avoid the crowds,  take down Christmas decorations, watch the Rose Parade, and relax on my day off.   So, that's what I am doing. Might even make some protein pancakes in a bit!

And that's as far as I have gotten....nothing else on my agenda because my goal is to listen to my head, heart, and body and do what feels right at that time. 

That is not to say I don't have some things I want to embrace this year.  I do.  I am human. We always have things we want to do.  It just means I am going to be gentle with myself as I incorporate them. 

1. Reconnect with things that used to bring me joy but somehow got lost-- art, writing, yoga, reading, etc. 

2. Take more day trips. Go exploring. Nothing grand. Just short day trips that fit into my budget and my life. 

3. Spend more time with people who make me happy--  kids, grands, family, and friends. 

4. Focus on self-care. Make healthy choices and accept me where I am.

5. Be open to whatever comes my way. Embrace opportunities. 

So, that's it. Nothing overly grand, but so VERY important.  Just loving me and enjoying life.  Whatever that looks like in the moment.

While the approaches may change, the overarching focus will hold true. Starting with 30-Day Yoga Flow with Adrianne. Reconnecting with something that used to bring me joy. Looking forward to the "flow."

Happy always,

Debi

You do You

On my mind today...

When it comes to personal choices that only impact the individual, what does it have to do with anyone else? Why must we waste resources debating these concepts? Involving the government? I mean... what does it have to do with the government? What? Why? 

I am a PRO individual choice. 

If you don't want to be gay....don't be gay.

If you don't want to have an abortion...don't have an abortion.

If you don't want to marry someone of the same sex....don't marry someone of your same sex, 

If you don't want to change your gender identity...don't change your gender identity.

If you don't want to read a certain book...don't read the book.

If you don't want to believe what someone else believes.. don't believe it. 

If you don't want to use marijuana...don't use it.

I mean come on.. It seems pretty simple to me. 

If you are not directly involved in the decision or the consequences... stay out of it.  Not for you.  You know? You do you, Boo.  And let everyone else, do everyone else.  

Posts I wish I had written......

 Everyday I am faced with stories and I think....oh I need to write that down so I can remember it.  Then, the moment passes, and I don't.  I need a good system. Maybe a voice recorder to record my thoughts when I have them to transcribe later. Maybe a notebook with me at all times.  Maybe a combination of both or something totally different! All I know for sure is that I am missing out on moments I want to remember. I just re-read my reflection on the January 6 2021 attack. Being able to return to how I felt in that exact moment was powerful. It would not have been so raw and real had I tried to recreate it days later.  

Things I have wanted to record but didn't.....

1. Papa telling the story of how he played the first game in the Apple Springs High School gym when it was completed 80 YEARS AGO! Yep, that's right 80 YEARS! What? !  He still goes over there to watch the games and is basically treated like ROYALTY.  He doesn't pay. The principle or one of the other administrators meets him at the door when he pulls up and walks him to the benches. He parks right in front of the school (in tne no parking area) which appears to be reserved for him. And YES at 96 years old, he is still driving himself around Apple Springs.  Fun times. 

2. The story Papa told me about how the old family church came to be. Who all the people were, where they lived, and how he knew them. Then the funny side story about how he had to go track down Uncle Jack (I think) to take him down to a neighbor's house to help deliver a cow...or maybe it was a horse.  Anyway. No phones in those days. So the neighbor told someone headed to Pa Clayton's store that they needed the "Doc." Pa Clayton told Papa to go get "Uncle Jack" (that may not be right). And the rest of the adventure began. This conversation then led to the first phones in the community. The first cars, and all the changes Papa has lived through.  He is at the point in his live where he LOVES recounting his stories and I truly enjoying hearing them! If only I could remember to record them! Next Time.

3. The story of the first time Papa saw a plane. He was outside working with Pa Clayton and they heard a strange noise. Once they finally figured out what it was, Pa Clayton grabbed his gun and started shooting at it! They thought it was probably looking for hidden stills or moonshiners and Pa didn't want them around. I asked Papa if Pa Clayton had a still and he said "Of Course NOT" but a lot of their neighbors did and Pa didn't want anyone bugging them!

4. Funny things my grandchildren have said or done. They are the MOST precious littles of all time-- obviously-- and I want to remember all the moments with them!

4. Reflections on my trip to Fort Parker and learning about the events that took place there.  That one is actually still relatively recent and the memories' are mine, so maybe I will actually write about that one day! 

I know there are a TON more because I remember having the thought that I should record these, but what it was is lost forever.  Do better Debi!!!

Any tips out there to help a girl out?  

The Day the Martians Invaded- Stories from Papa

Scene:  the day is October 30, 1936.  A young RC Davis (aka Papa) had been helping his Dad (Pa Clayton) at their Country Store. At some point during the evening he had to go back to their house for some reason. When he got home, he walked into the kitchen, turned on the radio, and found out that life as he knew it had changed forever---or so it seemed. 

 Papa stood transfixed as tales of martians landing, attacking, taking over poured out of the radio. He was, understandably so, TERRIFIED! He was alone. And all thoughts of WHY he had come home were long gone!  

 He ran out of the house and all the way back to the store. He ran into the building screaming, frantic, FREAKED out. Yelled for Pa Clayton to turn on the  radio and they stood together listening to the rest of the attack. Mars exploding. Aliens landing. People being annihilated with ray guns. The military attacking, reports going silent, people frantically calling out for anyone--is anyone there? Then at least  there is a survivor detailing the alien occupation and the ultimate defeat of the Martians by microbes.

So, what happened? Was Earth under attack? Had Aliens invaded? Was this the end?  No, of course not. This was the day, Halloween Eve, that Orson Wells took the country on an unexpectedly terrifying adventure and allegedly caused wide spread panic for those who missed the beginning of the broadcast that clarified it was only a story. The hour long program ended with Orson comparing the show to "dressing up in a sheet and jumping out of a bush and saying 'boo!'" 

This was The War of the Worlds.  

Did wide spread panic ensue? Did people think was true? The reports I ready seem to have different conclusions, but I can say for certainty that for a young boy in East Texas, Orson met his goal of FREAKING the listener out!   86 years later, that "boy" remembers every minute of that experience.  Well Played, Orson. Well Played.

 

 

Went for Ice, Came Home with a WIFE--Stories from Papa

In the Way Back Times of June 1943, my Papa, RC Davis, was 16 years old. I presume he was a relatively normal teenager doing whatever normal teens did in 1943. Times were different then, of course, so I don't know if it is appropriate to say that he was a teenager. He had finished school and was helping out his dad, my Great-Grandfather, Clayton Davis, in his various businesses. Pa Clayton did many things over the years, including (but not limited to) running a country store and delivering ice to local families in the Nogalus and surrounding areas. 

 

My Papa (RC) was responsible for the weekly ice deliveries. He would take the truck to Groveton on delivery days, pick up the big blocks of ice, and then make the rounds to distribute the ice. Families would leave the money indicating how much ice they wanted that week and he would unload the proper amount and put it in their icebox, chest, or wherever ice went in 1943. 

 Saturday, June 26, 1943 probably started off like any other normal ice run. RC headed to Groveton for a trip to the ice house. But on that particular Saturday morning, one Lona Kennedy, age 17, walked out to Hwy 94 and hopped on the bus to Groveton. Once she got there, she met up with RC and their adventure began. Now, RC and Lona (also known as Papa and Mamaw) had been dating, or courting if that is more appropriate, for a couple of years. They had started talking about getting married someday, but hadn't decided when or where that someday would be.. 

 Those two crazy kids decided to go for a drive that fateful Saturday morning. As the day wore on, they realized that "someday" had arrived and it was a good day to get married. Remember, it was a Saturday and not many things were open---but it was a also a small town and most people knew each other. So, even though the county offices were closed, RC knew where the County Clerk lived and decided to stop by and take a chance. The clerk was outside, working in her garden, tending to her tomatoes, and presumably enjoying her day off. 

Not to be deterred, RC shared their plan and asked if she would help them out. Now you might think she would brush them off and admonish them for disrupting her day off. But that was not the case. Fortunately, she must have been a fan of young love because she agreed to their plan. She dusted off the dirt and they headed to her office where she prepared the marriage license for them. 

First step down-- license secured. BUT they still needed to find someone to perform the ceremony. Once again living in a small town paid off. They headed to the home of a minister they knew and asked him to marry them. Fortune smiled on the young lovers again and he agreed. So, there at the minister's house, with no family or friends of their own-- just the two of them, and the minister's family, RC Davis and Lona Kennedy became husband and wife.  And thus began the journey to me. But we will save that story for another day. 

So what happens after these two crazy teens tied the knot? Did they run off together? Go out partying--(whatever partying in 1943 looked like)? NOPE! They realized it was time to tell the families and off they went. First stop, the Kennedy's. Lona and RC drove to her parent's house, Grover and Gertie Kennedy (aka Ma Gertie and Pa Grover), to share the news. I imagine them driving up slowly, excited but also very nervous. Maybe clutching hands and wondering if it was all a crazy dream they were going to wake up from. Of course, what do I know...it was 25 years before I was born. They could have screeched in to the driveway, throwing dirt, and whooping it up like it was two-thousand zero zero party's over, oops out of time!  You choose your own version! 

What I do know is that, Papa got out of the truck and very politely approached Pa Grover. Again I imagine him holding his hat in one hand while extending the other to Lona's dad and saying "Mr. Kennedy, I want to let you know that Lona and I just got married." Pa Grover looked at these two giddy lovers, shook his head (poetic license allowed here), and said what we would expect any girl dad to say in this situation, "Well, let's cut open a watermelon." I mean what else are you going to do on a suddenly not so random June Saturday in Texas? To be fair, Papa said that Pa Grover was known around town for having the best watermelons--- so this was not some run of the mill watermelon. This was a MARRIAGE feast watermelon. Highly appropriate and a great way to toast the newly weds. 

 After the watermelon was eaten and the visiting was done, it was time to go see the Davis'. Papa was proud, and I imagine perhaps slightly nervous, to introduce his wife to his parents But it appears all went well and the new couple was received with open arms. After a little more visiting, possibly some more food, they went back to Groveton to spend their first night as husband and wife in a hotel--- and we will just leave the story right there. 

 UNLESS you are like me, and are really concerned about the ice. I mean what happened to the ice? Did it get picked up?  Delivered? Did it melt in the truck? Was Pa Clayton left with a ton of ice to deliver the next day? Did people have to come pick up their own ice?  Were the communities of Nogalus and surrounding areas left ice less that summer weekend? Did their food spoil?  What happened??  As it turns out, no ice was picked up or delivered that day.  So, was the lack of ice and any potential inconvenience to faithful customers worth it? 

 I would say so. RC and Lona were married for 64 years-- wait, what? Can that be right? Let's see...they married in 1943 and Mamaw passed away in 2007. 2007-1943= 64 years. 64 years, four months, and 1 day to be exact-ish until the day Mamaw moved on to whatever comes next. That's a long time. A life I am sure was filled with ups and downs, mistakes and successes, challenges and adventures, but most of all an enduring love between a 16 years old kid and his 17 year old bride.

 --- as told by RC Davis with related commentary and speculation from me, Debi Gresham., the first granddaughter  (third grandchild--but first girl) of those two crazy kids!

Hanging from the Beams of an Outhouse-- Stories from Papa

 I was hanging out with my 96-year old grandfather (Papa) the other day and he shared a story I had never heard before. I just can't seem to shake the visual of the story, so I thought I would share it with you (whoever YOU may be) so you can also have this visual stuck in your head. I am kind that way. 

RC started first grade when he was five years old. I don't remember exactly which school he went to as there were several small community schools in the area. We will just say it as was in the greater Apple Springs area. Of course, school buses, bicycles, parents giving kids rides, public transportation, and all the current options weren't available then, so he did what all kids did-- he walked. Around 2 to 3 miles one way to get to school. May I remind you, he was FIVE.

Now, to be fair, it likely wasn't snowing and it definitely wasn't uphill both ways. In fact the area around here is relatively flat. But still 4 to 6 miles a day for a five year old to go to school. That's intense! AND may have something to do with why he is still here telling these stories 91 years later. As a little, he obviously couldn't trek that far on his own. Fortunately he had some aunts and uncles who were still in school and he was able to tag along with them. One of those uncles, who was 18 at the time, had already finished school (schools only went to 9th grade then) but he just kept going back every year so he could play basketball. AND no one stopped him. I guess they really need the players!

As was the norm in those days, the school had an outhouse instead of an indoor restroom. One day RC was out there by the outhouse. He didn't specify why, but I think we can all assume he was doing what you do when you are in an outhouse. I mean why else would you be there?

UNLESS you are out there to ruin the day for some unsuspecting child. Which is what happened when some of the older boys from school came out and trapped him in. They were picking on him--goofing off-- being losers--whatever you want to call it. He didn't go into a lot of detail about it, but the end result was that they picked him up and dropped him INTO the pit. INTO THE PIT!

Just take a minute to let that settle in. Are you getting the heebie jeebies yet? Blech! Fortunately, RC was a pretty strong little due and he was able to reach out mid-fall, grab on to the wooden beams of the pit, and hold on for dear life. Uhh...what?! Hanging on to the sides of the pit. Again. WHAT?! Then he just hung, trying not to fall, probably freaking out (although he didn't say that) until they gave up tormenting him and went back to class. 

After they left he pulled himself up and crawled out of the pit. Do you have this visual? A five(ish) year old kid, hanging from the beams INSIDE an outhouse pit. Perilously dangling above all the outhouse business. All alone. Dude. That is the stuff nightmares are made of. I mean we are talking the anti-version of Little House on the Prairie, here! 

Thankfully, He did NOT fall all the way into the waste and gunk and who knows what else. In the end, he was fine. Unharmed and unscathed. The boys in question? They were not so fine. They apparently got in a LOT of trouble. And 91 years later, Papa is still laughing at the memory of that!

Pawhuska.....The place I never knew I needed to go! August 2022

Welcome to Pawhuska

This week I joined my Mother on a trip to Pawhuska, Oklahoma  Like most, I daresay, of the visitors to Pawhuska we went to see the Pioneer Woman's Mercantile and Lodge.  But what we found...was so much more!  

Top things to do in Pawhuska, IMHO

Frontier Hotel

1. Stay at the Frontier Hotel located in the historic Triangle Building. Now, I know what you are thinking. Most people want to stay at the Boarding House and experience ALL the Pioneer Woman (aka Ree Drummond) has to offer. BUT the Boarding House is small and there aren't a ton of rooms. AND those that are available seem to be more suited to couples than family members or friends traveling together. NOW the Frontier Hotel (which is still under renovation) is AWESOME!  We had a huge room with two beds, a kitchenette, table, desk, and walls of windows overlooking the town. Amazing!. As part of the renovation of this historic building they have kept the doors, windows, and all the other gorgeous features.  Definitely, check this one out!!!

Cheers from the Mercantile

2. Pioneer Woman Stuff. Obvi...this is why we go, right? So, check it out. Do it all.  We started out at the Mercantile for dinner and some shopping.  Then the next day we headed over to the Lodge for a tour of where Ree (Look at me, Ree---like we are buds! I mean I was in her Lodge, so there's that!)  films her show.  It was lovely.  I took TONS of pics in case I ever decide to build my own awesome Lodge. You Never Know.   Then you want to make sure you check out the Pioneer Woman Collection store (right next to the Boarding House) for some more shopping of course. For dinner the second night, we went to P-Town for a DELISH figgy pizza. No Judging, okay? It was YUM! We did not go to Charlie's for dessert, but we did hit up the Mercantile Cafe for breakfast one day and it did not DISAPPOINT! I highly recommend you check out ALL of them! OH..and while you are at the Lodge, be sure to share some loves with Rebel. Apparently he is Cowboy Josh's dog and he is the cutest ever!

Rebel @ the Lodge

3. Jewelry!  We hit up several jewelry stores around on a hunt for turquoise and were successful! We met super friendly people and came home with beautiful trinkets. I must beg your forgiveness and admit that I cannot remember the name of the first gallery/ jewelry store we went to but I can tell you where it was. Right next to Prairie Sky Jewelry and across from the drugstore.  Check them out. The person working there was super nice and allowed...no ENCOURAGED us to try on tons of stuff!  We loved it! Then we went to the Bucking Flamingo (how do you forget that name?) where a very lovely young girl helped us out. She was very patient while I picked out the perfect earrings to match the pendant I got at the other place.  Mom got stuff too! Super cool cactus turquois earrings to be exact.

4. Tallgrass Prairie Preserve. Seriously. Go.  BUT plan your time better and go with the light is right for taking awesome pics!  I read on one of the travel tip sites that around 6:00 p.m. buffalo were congregating at the gate.  So we got there about 5ish and there weren't any buffalo at the gate. We drove

Our Friendly Buffalo

the loop, stopped at the visitors center (it was closed) and saw some cows.  We did see one small group of buffalo and were quite grateful for them because of the heat!  THEN around 6:15 ish we made it around the loop and were headed back to the gate when what to our wondering eyes did appear, but a sh*t ton of buffalo around every bend!  Seriously, they were cool. It was like there were on duty!  6:00 p.m. time to be at the Pawhuska gate! They did good. Now, I was a little disappointed because we read in the brochure that visitors were advised to stay in their car because of the potential running AND jumping of buffalo! Did you know buffalo jumped? We didn't'! And they did not jump for us.  Go see them, maybe you will get to see the jumping buffalo! And if you do-- please send me some pictures!  Do me another favor, okay? If you encounter a white pickup of obnoxious impatient men, slow down, drive in the middle of the road, STOP for everything, and really give them a reason to honk and show their butts!

5. Bob Johnson Museum.  Do you know who Bob Johnson is?  I didn't.  At first. But I recognized him from all the pics. He was in A LOT of movies. Think Godfather, The Last Picture Show, Mighty Joe Young, and TONS of westerns. The museum showcases his accomplishments as well as those of the AMAZING artist John Free (gorgeous western scenes), several Oklahoma native rodeo stars, the Drummond family, and other fun Pawhuska tidbits.  As with everywhere we went (pickup truck maniacs excluded) the people were friendly, forthcoming, and very kind.

6. Osage Nation Museum. The Osage Nation Campus is in Pawhuska and their museum is lovely. The first room has a lot of info on their culture and the upper room has a traveling exhibit of drums. 
BEAUTIFUL drums paying homage to their culture, heritage, and family. They have quite a history! Not part of the museum but interesting tidbit-- there was (is) a lot of oil under the Osage land. The tribe was (is?) very wealthy and this made them a target for greedy and unscrupulous folks.  That is all I know of the story right now. I am reading the book now though, Killers of the Flower Moon. I will update you when I know more!  

7. Pawhuska Historical Society Museum. Did you know Pawhuska was home to the FIRST Boy Scout Troop. Seriously, no joke. Troop #1  Pawhuska, OK!  The first Native American Prima Ballerina was from the OSAGE tribe, She had a sister who was also a ballerina and performed in Europe. I think their names were Tallgrass. The Tallgrass Sisters. Look them up! This town had LOTS of money (due to the previously discussed oil riches) and the people loved to show off their finery!  If you didn't know any of this---- go check out the historical society and learn about this fascinating area!

8. Need a break from the heat or a chance to just relax and step away for a minute? Swing by the Osage Casino for a spin or two on the slots!  Air Conditioning, complimentary water, and a chance to win it big! Enough said!

Furniture & Undertaking

9. Take a walk (or a hike)!  My first morning in town, I got up early and walked around the downtown area taking some pictures.  Beautiful old buildings, staircases, alleyways, and quirky spots.  What I didn't do, but hope you will (whoever YOU are) is take a stroll on a portion of the Osage Heritage Trail Scenic Byway. This 70-mile trail winds through "some of the state's most unique and beautiful landscapes." Sounds like a must see to me!

10.  If you drive (from Texas) make sure you stop off at the Chocktaw Casino in Grant, OK.  The rooms are nice. The restaurant is good. The drinks are De-Lish. And the SLOTS are fun! My faves were the Wheel of Fortune game and both the Duck and Cherry slots.  They were the nicest to me!  Let me know what "you" think! 

There you have it, Top Ten adventures from our Pawhuska week!    

Mom at the Lodge

Book Review— The Island of Missing Trees

 The Island of. Issuing Trees

Author: Elif Shafak

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️  Five Star Read.

Quote—. Chapter 6

‘What I meant was, some people stand in front of a tree and the first thing they notice is the trunk. These are the ones who prioritize order, safety, rules, continuity. Then there are those who pick out the branches before anything else. They yearn for change, a sense of freedom. And then there are those who are drawn to the roots, though concealed under the ground. They have a deep emotional attachment to their heritage, identity, traditions …So which one are you?’

Thanks for asking, Ada. I always notice the branches first— the way they sway, twist, reach. The rustle of the leaves. The soothing sound. Calling me. Whispering to me about possibilities and opportunities.  Reminds me of my Dad. We shared that desire for freedom and touch of wanderlust. When I read that passage I was shocked. It spoke to me  Like, are you actually talking to me, Kosta? Are you in my mind? Do you know me? Mind blown 🤯  Seriously.

Reflection: It took me a minute or so to figure out the flow of the story but once I got it, I was in.  Hooked. Invested. I felt Ada’s angst— was there with her in the classroom. Lived Kosta’s and Defne’s story— could see the back room of the Happy Fig where they met and feel their loss.  I loved J and J’s love— their whispers, stolen embraces, dances, and the significance of the gift. And Meryem’s search for identity—YES, I feel you girl! Wear the bold colors and pretty patterns.  DO ALL THE THINGS. 

 ALL the feels.  Legit  ALL THE FEELS.

I loved the historical aspect (even with the fiction built in), the cruelty of humans mixed with  hope and compassion, the wonder of the natural world, the humanization of insects, animals, and trees—anthropomorphism, according to Google.  SO. GOOD. A truly unique perspective with an unexpected twist. 

About that twist. Come on now. I gasped out loud.  Read it a couple of times to make sure my eyes didn’t deceive me (similar to my reaction when Dumbledore died—but that’s a whole different story). Went back to re-read sections to look for clues. Something I missed. Some early foreshadowing. And  S L O W E D down my reading to prolong the experience. Always a good sign when you don’t want it to end. I mean YES to all of this  

Okay, I get it. This is an emotional review and pretty useless in terms of what the book is actually about. But you can get that info from the summary. This raw feeling only comes from being immersed in the story.   Embracing it  Feeling it. Loving it. 

Recommendation: GO. READ IT NOW.  Don’t wait  

My Wish For You:  That you love it as much as I do.  Then you tell two friends.  And they tell two friends…. And so on  

 ~D

  

What I am Doing Now

 

UPDATED January, 2022. I had a horrible loss shortly after this post was originally made that changed my perspective and my plans.  My world was wrecked and I haven’t really figured out the next step but since that loss I am craving family, connections, belonging.  Reevaluating plans now. 

***************************

August 2021–. I sold my house about a month ago and set out on what I HOPE will be a year of travel around the United States. I put my stuff in storage (I have learned from past attempts NOT to get rid of everything right away), packed a suitcase, and hopped on a plane!

First the basics, I work full-time for a company. I am not self-employed, or an influencer—of any sort.  I work a basic 40-hour week job—that just so happens to be remote. I am fortunate to have started working remotely prior to Covid-19 and intend to continue doing so as long as possible…12 more years would be perfect! 😊 My requirements for work are that I have secure, reliable Internet connection, power, and the ability to work my set office hours. I can do that from anywhere…basically.  

Second, the plan.  I have parents in Texas and Vermont. Children and grandchildren in Oregon, and friends all over the place.  I hope to be able to weave my way across the country checking out hiking trails, national parks, scenic points, and reconnecting with people.  I will be using a combination of planes, trains, and automobiles to get around and using Airbnb’s, hotels, couch surfing, and camping for lodging.

When I started researching this plan, I found TONS of people on the Internet who travel internationally, travel in an RV, live in their cars, live off the grid, or housesit. Those all seem like cool things. But not my thing. I want to pick a place, find a place to stay, and hang out for a couple of weeks to a month. I want time to experience, explore, work, live, breath….BE.  I want to just BE in a place.  

I am currently trying to figure out how much space I need. What are my must-haves and how can I get those on the cheap?  I need a room. A private room. With space to work.  I am okay sitting at a table, on the bed, on a cushion, even on the floor if needed. The place needs to be relatively quiet. I must be able to interact with my students in a quiet, seemingly professional, and confidential setting. I need a place to store and heat up food. Microwave, hotplate, full kitchen—I can work with all of that.  I think I need a private bath—or do I? It would probably depend on the place. And I really love an outdoor space. I want to engage with the outside world.

Can I do all this in the U.S?  Maybe. Maybe not. But I am going to give it a go!   So, hey, if you know me, have an extra space, and want to show me around your area…send me a message! Let’s explore.

Roadtrip Lessons

I set out today to see some things and do some stuff. Mission accomplished. I also learned some things along the way. 

Let’s start with the seeing and doing.  I started out driving down RT 100. Stopped off in the adorable Rochester, VT for breakfast  at the Rochester Cafe.  The highlight was the Iced Green Mountain Latte with Maple Syrup. DeLish.

  

For the beginning of my adventure, I let the Route 100 Gypsy Guide lead me through the Mad River Byway. Short stops at Texas, Moss Glenn, and Watson Falls soon gave way to busier towns, traffic, and massive hordes of people.  There were a couple of covered bridges and hikes I wanted to see/do but there were just too many cars and pedestrians around for me to figure out where I needed to be (Lesson #1).  

I eventually made my way to Waterbury, where I attempted to visit the Green Mountain tasting room--it was closed. So, I headed over to Ben and Jerrys and thought I would take a factory tour and see what the “flavor of the day” was--also closed.  How about Cabot Cheese ? (closed) (Lesson 2). Not to be deterred, I went down to the Cold Hollow Cider Mill because I saw RAVE reviews about it online and in all the “Things to Do In Vermont” You Tube videos (Lesson #3).  

My original plan was to head to Stowe from Waterbury and go stroll around a hiking trail I saw online.  With the massive hordes of people in Waterbury and the long line of traffic headed towards Stowe, I decided the other direction would be better for me. Of course by this point, I was desperately wishing I had decided to go to the beach instead because the heat and traffic were starting to fry my brain!  (Lesson 4). 

I drove for a bit listening to the Gypsy Guide and taking in the views because I didn’t really have a plan anymore (Lesson 5). As I was considering going to Fort Ticonderoga, but not really loving that idea because of the heat, I passed a sign for Sherbourne Farms and decided to take a detour.  It was mostly closed-- but their trails were open (some were even shaded) and they had cute goals.   What’s not to love about a place with weird art installations, trails, and goats?  After hanging with my goaties for a while and enjoying some quiet space, I started to feel a little more relaxed and open to other ideas. Considered my options for the rest of the day. 1)  Continue on to Fort Ticonderoga--too hot.  2) Get a hotel and hang out for the night, maybe do some swimming--swimming suit was in Rutland at the AirBnB. 3) Get some dinner--wasn’t hungry yet.  4) Turn on a podcast, point the car toward  Rutland, and enjoy the scenery. We have a winner!

Just as I reached Rutland I decided I was hungry after all and really wanted a brick oven or wood fired pizza.  Instead of going straight to the place and getting one, I decided to swing by the AirBnB first to freshen up. Once I got here, it was all over. There was no way I was heading out again. Ended up eating Tater Tots and fake chicken with Buffalo Sauce — not NEAR as good (Lesson 6).  

Overall, I would say it was a good day. Didn’t go exactly as I planned--but then what does? 

On to the lessons….

Lesson 1: Avoid touristy locations on sunny Saturdays. Judging from the license plates I saw, everyone in the states of Vermont, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and New York all read the same blogs and watched the same YouTube videos.  In order to preserve one’s sanity, one should avoid “Top 12 Places” like the plague! Or maybe go on a rainy Tuesday morning when others are not as likely to be out.  Too. Many. People.

Lesson 2:  Do some research before you head out!  Seriously, we are living in Covid times. Things are different. Don’t assume that just because it’s a beautiful sunny day and 10,000,000 people are out on the roads, that any of the destinations will be open.  Why would they be open?. Side note: I just don’t really understand the rationale behind why certain places are open and others are closed. There doesn’t seem to be any consistency or logic. 

Lesson 3: Remember that you don’t particularly like shopping or looking at random things with the names of states, local specialities, or other cutesy things  on them. Shopping is not fun.  All the stores have the same things. Even if something shows up on the “Top 12” list, it doesn’t mean it’s for you (me). Find other ways to “support local” and avoid touristy stores.  Sidenote: While I did enjoy the donut and my “We are All Spots on the Same Cow” tshirt does make me smile---I didn’t need either of them  and wouldn’t have missed them if I hadn’t been there.  Stick to what you know you love. 

Lesson 4: Always choose the water activity. Beach, Lake, River, Pool whatever. If it involves tubes, toes, or kayaks getting in the water…ALWAYS GO WITH THE WATER. 

Lesson 5: Plan ahead.  Seek out the things you love (see lesson 3) and have some back up locations in mind for when things fall apart. Things will always fall apart. You can’t control other people’s path, but you can always choose a new path for yourself---take some time to plan ahead!  Find all the waterfalls, places to rent kayaks or dip your toes in the water,  quiet shady trails, or somewhere that something important happened a long time ago and just go there instead of the crowded towns and shops. Be a planner. 

Lesson 6:  Do everything you want to do BEFORE you get “home” because once you get “home”, just accept that you are not leaving again! Admit it. Own it. Embrace it.